If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
