i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
