at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
