He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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