i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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