Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
