would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
