Pants 0. Shit 1.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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