I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
