this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
