ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
