I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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