At least make sure they are 18
Why
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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