Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
