hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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