I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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