I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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