watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
