Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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