The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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