? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
