you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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