I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
