his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
