Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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