corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
