making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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