yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
