I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
