I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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