he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
