Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
