If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
