why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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