Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
