I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
