Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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