I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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