It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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