Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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