There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
