oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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