It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
