i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
