How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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