Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
