this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
