I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
