i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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