Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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