I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
