Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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