i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
we're so committed to being not committed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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